Notes to self – Overthinking & Friendship

I’m a worrier. I overthink everything. 

I try to keep telling myself: Stop caring so much what people think of you. What you look like, your stupid laugh, how your voice sounds.

The people you want to keep around are the ones who know and have experienced your imperfections and still want to stay. I’ve entered a group of friends lately where I have never felt more comfortable, so free of judgement. They like me for who I am. They’ve heard my awful jokes, my lisp, my goofy laugh, but they keep inviting me to hang out. It’s really boosted my happiness, knowing I can truly be myself with these people.

I’ve made a friend lately where the friendship has almost entirely grown from speaking electronically, over text or social media. The conversation is great, we have a good laugh, we never run out of things to say. Even better, we can go a couple of days without talking, and pick up conversation again effortlessly. The issue is, they don’t know my in-person imperfections. The things that I am self conscious about. Everything is great when we talk through text, but what if they don’t like me in person? What if I can’t be as funny and witty in person as I can be when we message? I have all these worries and fears about one of these friends because they’re so cool, and popular, that I feel like I won’t be the person they want me to be. Okay. No. Enough of the negativity. I need to dispel these thoughts, and bite the bullet. The few times I’ve hung out with them before have been great. I need to stop worrying, and spend more time with them in person rather than constantly putting it off. It’s the only way I’ll ever know for sure.

Featured picture found here.

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